Wednesday, January 24, 2007

A Letter from the President's Congressman

Well folks, it’s “Darkness at Noon” when constituents receive a letter from the President’s Congressman down here in Texas. Chet Edwards (D) is now a 9-term incumbent and luckily 13th most powerful Congressman in D.C. Chet is perfectly conversant in the dialectical nuances of political double speak and intrigue as brilliantly described in the Arthur Koestler novel. In this letter the reader must be astute in recognizing that definitions are blurred and skewed by a fluid dogmatism, flush with rushing currents of emotionally nuanced meanings yet devoid of sense and substance, all delivered by the bracing smile of a glittering bear trap.

In the election of 2006, voters across the country exercised their right to change the culture in Washington*. The American people are sick and tired* of the partisan* bickering* and desperately want to see more bipartisan* cooperation in Washington. I agree. What members of Congress often forget is that the American people are in charge of this democracy and understand that no political party has a monopoly on wisdom. When they do forget, responsive citizens* make their voices heard and their demands clear through elections, voters across the country exercised their right to change the culture in Washington*.



*change the culture of Washington – the effective elimination of opposition forces by The Revolution*.

*sick and tired – a reference to Senator Hilary Clinton’s rebellious rant (see below+) against The Establishment.

* bickering – the inability of The Party* to declare victory through logical debate thereby causing outbursts of emotional duress which travels to responsive citizens* via sound-bites that then disturbs the peace of mind of the mind-numbed causing further outbursts of emotional duress and tension.

* partisan – the opposition forces that must be destroyed by The Revolution
* bipartisan –total adherence to the rules of The Party.

* responsive citizens - voters whose minds have been shaped by The Party; these citizens have no memory of the past making them unquestioning advocates of The Revolution and The Party it established through endless policy shifts and political positioning, their minds are fed through sound-bites, news headlines, political cartoons, and propaganda movies from Hollywood or documentaries produced by ex-Vice-Presidents or members of The Revolution.

*unresponsive citizens – those that resist The Revolution and The Party it established; those still operating under the values of The Establishment; thought criminals; also see obstructionists*.

* obstructionist – anyone not active in The Revolution either through passivity or ignorance; some obstructionists are cultural terrorists because of actions in their fields that do not promote the success of The Revolution; a cultural terrorist is considered a high danger to The Revolution because their work and thoughts either reveal the unworkable processes of The Revolution or provide enlightenment to the passive citizenry of the glory of the unjust Constitution* and the tenants of faith and values of The Establishment.

*Unjust Constitution - the Constitution of the United States of America.

* The Revolution – the social chaos that began in the 1960’s that sought the overthrow and eliminate of The Establishment*and overthrow the unjust Constitution and the government.

*The Party – The righteous government replacing the unjust Constitutional government of The United States of America.

* The Establishment – the moral and intellectual values of corrupt businessmen, certain religious leaders espousing belief in one God, His Holy Word, sin and redemption, and citizens that pay homage to an unjust Constitution and government; also when the Revolutionaries were young 20-somethings their motto creed was “Don’t trust anyone over 30!”; The Establishment is also recognized as the Republican Party, the Party of Nixon who was believed to be evil incarnate, until Ronald Regan came on the scene and epitomized the father figure the revolutionaries despised from their youth for his success and character.

*independence – the euphoria felt when one has thrown down the shackles of moral slavery to The Establishment and the Unjust Constitution; total acceptance of The Revolution and The Party it established.

* patriot, patriotic, patriotism – those citizens and the ideals declaring that this nation, founded on an unjust Constitution, is the source of all turmoil and injustice in the world because of our success as a republic and because of our success through capitalism, an ideology that deprives all workers of paradise.
[Lexicon notes - my own]

Well, there you have it, The Party* has spoken and its mandate is clear: republican wisdom was overthrown by responsive citizens*. The partisan* bickering* caused by The Party having to constantly screech about the previously mandated Republicans wanting to do things according to their establishment* values will now be controlled under the rule of bipartisan* cooperation. Those unresponsive citizens* that remember the blackboard screeching of:

“I am sick and tired of people who say that if you debate and you disagree with this administration, somehow you’re not patriotic*!
And we should stand up and say we are Americans, and we have a right to debate and disagree with any administration!”+

don’t understand the voice of The Revolution* and its war against The Establishment* properly. We must learn that The Party simply is, and the 60’s Revolution has achieved its goal and the opposition will learn this through the rigid doctrine of conformity perfected by #2 in the Great Revolution. The citizens of responsive flexibility voted for change, which was not really a change because there only is and only will be, The Revolution and The Party it established. The Party will not tolerate the speech of obstructionists* because the emotions of the Revolution cannot control or triumph through the logic of civil debate.

So, when a Party member talks of independence*, this must not be confused with the historic definition of American independence. Therefore, when Chet tells his constituents of his independent leadership, the newest version of The Party’s lexicon must be consulted.

Though the majority party in Congress has changed, my number one priority has not and that is to continue to provide effective, independent leadership for the people of the 17th district.

We must understand that Chet’s independence means that he is not a representative of the people of District-17; he is a leading standard bearer of the rules of the Revolution and a prime director in The Party. He will not bow when he discusses the Iraq War with his constituent, The President and Commander in Chief. Like William the Conqueror, Chet sallies forth to dialogue with his vassal in a strange indirect dialect built upon blocks of words whose ends don’t coincide. Note how the shape-shifting Congressman slides away from the connection that the troop surge’s effort should be to win the war to a non sequitur referendum on the President’s support in the polls.

Edwards said, he told the president he hoped the new strategy in Iraq wouldn't include an increase in troops. “But if you are going to make that decision, you should send whatever number you believe is right - not a watered-down compromise number - because this could be the last real chance to win Americans' support for a strategy to stabilize Iraq."

Bryan-College Station Eagle Staff Writer

Chet can speak dialectical nihilism with the best of Party operatives Over There. Chet’s sense of independence is total allegiance to The Party. But, as the Revolution revealed, choosing The Party is evidence of complete freedom from every moral structure of what used to be referred to as civil society. The success of The Revolution means that the barbarians who burned their bras, spit on veterans, trolled through trailer parks in their astro-turfed el Camino and ultimately drove their car off a bridge while in a drunken stupor and drowning their girlfriend are now the established Directors in The Party. Down with the Establishment, the Revolution made such behavior moral. Or as Dostoevsky mused, “All things are legal in the absence of God.” These 60’s radicals shout and sing joyously, “Long live The Revolution and The Party it established!”

So, don’t be confused when Chet tell us, “[w] hile I will respect those who disagree, I believe the first 100 hours agenda reflects bipartisan, mainstream values shared by a majority of citizens across our district and the country.” Understand that Chet is speaking in terms of his revolutionary values as dictated by The Party lexicon which declares that mainstream values are not the past values of the now defeated Establishment but are instead the make love not war and separation of church and state values of The Revolution. Chet and his responsive citizenry believe partial birth abortion is a mainstream value and that all references of God in the former unjust Constitutional government must be eradicated. Such are the rules established by The Revolution.

The Party believes that those who assisted in destroying The Establishment through The Revolution deserve the spoils of war as the barbarians pull down the very foundation of the former values of the unjust Constitution and its ideals of the pursuit of individual happiness. Even though every government run bureaucracy is a study of inefficiency, every piece of legislation produced in the 110th Congress will establish new bureaucracies in order to provide permanent jobs for Responsive Citizens. For those challenging the Revolution’s Rules through the archaic belief of individual freedom and pursuit of happiness there will be endless taxation to pay the salary of the bureaucracy. Everyone knows those operating outside The Party rules deserve punishment, possibly even mental torture as thought criminal obstructionists try to make ends meet on the leftovers of the fruit of their labor.

Individualists, tremble in fear when you read the President’s Congressman’s plans for the future.

I also believe it will be well-received if the new Congress ultimately sends legislation to the president that protects America from terrorism by implementing the 9-11 Commission recommendations; reduces federal deficits by returning “pay as you go” rules that led to federal surpluses in the 1990’s; sets higher standards for congressional ethics, bipartisanship and civility; cuts college student loan costs in half; increases the minimum wage; saves lives by expanding stem cell research and invests more in alternative energy production.

True free thinkers note there is no reference to defeating the terrorists so they won’t be able to attack us. Implementing the 9-11 Commission recommendations would only seek to make terrorist attacks a mere nuisance while providing permanent jobs for Responsive Citizens. Free Thinkers, the rebels against The Revolution, know that the federal surpluses of the 1990’s were as phony as Enron stock options during the same decade.

The same phoniness goes for the “pay as you go” response to budgeting where bureaucracies prudent to the pursuit of The Revolution have written rules of percentage increases, while those areas that are destructive to The Revolution such as national defense must show just cause for every tax dollar received. Rebels against The Revolution understand that The Party was established on the destruction of establishment morals, so the declaration of setting higher standards for congressional ethics means that those found with bricks of cold cash stashed in their freezer will maintain their seat of power in Congress.

Also, according to the lexicon of The Party, we rebels understand that civility is no longer based upon the defeated ideals of honesty and integrity, but rather is defined as an absence of logical debate because such debates disrupt the emotions of the Responsive Citizen. Unresponsive rebels realize that cutting student loans will cause banks to raise loan rates on everyone else needing a bank loan and that raising the minimum wage is an unnecessary encroachment of government into private business. The Party has perfected the art of spending other people's money in a way that shows them to be charitable and magnanimous. So feel really good about yourself as you pay that extra dollar for your super-sized burger combo deal and realize that Congress is requiring you pay your burger chef more, because they care.

The truly devout thought criminals, those daring to doggedly adhere to religious beliefs and tenants find the idea of saving lives by growing embryos in laboratories for harvest more than a little bit creepy. The new thinking radicals wonder about the government pursuing a course in embryonic stem cell research when private investment in the research is stalled because there has been no real evidence of success. It’s the classic Tom Foley thought pattern: “Because there is no evidence is the reason we must investigate.”

And finally, concerning the energy problem, the absolute rebellious citizens wonder why the hell we haven’t dropped a Hughes Tool drill bit into the frozen ground of ANWAR or begun building new refineries for oil production. Shouldn't energy production provide for the near future and then the distant future?

This is the letter from the President’s Congressman concerning his seat of power in The Party and the future direction of the revolutionized America. It’s twilight in the middle of the day. I see the iron bars settling around me, so where’s the front for the counter-insurgency? Because as a great leader in a Central American Revolution said, “One man’s freedom fighter is another man’s terrorist” and Republicans must recognize on what side of that phrase they fall.

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