Well Worth Our Support

Too often, we complain when someone does something wrong while saying nothing if something is done right. It goes against our human nature to edify one another. The state of Texas has much to be proud of when it comes to debate in the Senate and House on the illegal immigration issue.

Both Texas Senators, Kay Baily Hutchison and John Cornyn are standing strong against the effort to pass this bill without debate. Serious issues are in need of debate and Congress has a bad habit of rushing headlong into legislation without proper consideration of the rule of unintended consequences. Pressure in Washington to get a "done deal" is a tough thing to resist.

District 17 cannot boast of its contribution to this debate. However:

• Jeb Hensarling (R-TX 5),
• Randy Neugebauer (R-TX 19),
• John Culberson (R-TX 7),
• Mike Conaway (R-TX 11),
• Kenny Marchant (R-TX 24),
• Joe Barton (R-TX 6),
• Michael Burgess (R-TX 26),
• Nick Lampson (R-TX 22),
• Michael McCaul (R-TX 10),
• Ted Poe (R-TX 2),
• Lamar Smith (R-TX 21),
• John Carter R-TX 31),
• Pete Sessions (R-TX 32) and
• Sam Johnson (R-TX 3)

all deserve a word of thanks and appreciation.

This list also clearly reveals the delineation between Democrats and Republicans on this issue.

Note: The jackalope visited the website of every Texas Representative to get this information. If a Representative is not listed, and is strong on border security and anti-illegal immigration, I was unable to find information supporting it.

Chet Edwards - Democrat First, American Second

Chet Edwards (D-TX17) has an unjustified reputation as a conservative Democrat. The reality is that he follows closely the far left ideas of the Democratic Party. He is careful to never be photographed with members of his party that would tarnish that carefully constructed persona, but his voting record mirrors theirs in most respects.

A major problem concerning the (il)legal immigration issue is that nothing is backed up by enforcement. Legislation is a great concept, but unless it is actually followed through in practice we only worsen the situation. Problems become a "make work" project for Congress allowing them to posture and prattle for the news camera rather than the hard work of solving a problem. If they were to solve the problem then they would have nothing to preen about before the Sunday Talking Head hosts. Making hard decisions is not always conducive to Congress' first job: re-election. And it goes without saying that pleasing their idiot hick constituents back home could make them persona non gratia with the tony Washington cocktail circuit. This is a problem for even some (most?) Republicans.

It is in this light we must contemplate the current (il)legal immigration bill because the law of human nature dictates that we get the behavior we reward. Any legislation that does not first address the problem of a porous border is doomed to be a future and much larger problem. If our schools and social programs are already overburdened, inaction concerning the open border issue means in mere months these taxpayer funded programs will be exponentially so. Tax funds are not some bottomless coffer regardless of how legislators may treat them.

It is not wrong for citizens to prefer to keep as much of their own money to provide for their own family and extended family. This is the intent of the proverb: Charity begins at home. Unbridled taxation to provide social services for illegal aliens will eventually make all native and naturalized citizens wards of the state because it will lead straight to poverty because the more services provided, the more people will come. To assert so is not to be anti-immigrant, but rather to recognize the reality of human nature.

That explained, this morning in his weekly radio interview, Chet Edwards (D-Tx17) distanced himself properly from the Senate's illegal immigration bill. He listed off his requirements: illegals must pay a fine, learn to speak English - even their children - so illegals can provide better for themselves rather than expecting to receive myriads of social welfare, and oh yeah that other thing, border security.

Wait a minute, he just described the current embattled Senate Bill. By listing border security last, Edwards makes clear his priority. After 16 years in the House, Edwards understands perfectly the reality of not enforcing the laws he passes. He has a history of not enforcing the laws he votes for. He is facile in speaking the "correct" talking points, knowing that those constituents who are not well-versed politicos will hear his words outside the context of political realities and nod their heads thinking the incessant bickering has been solved.

The political reality is that the Senate and House Democratic majority could pass the current bill and the President would sign it into law. Their dilemma comes when the people, realizing that the problem is not in fact solved, blame them for passing a problem intensifier. President Bush will not be running for office ever again. To blame him would be moot and the proverbial chickens will come home to roost infecting the Democratic Party with its political pox.

This is why the word bi-partisan is the key word. If the Republicans do not play this game, and fall into the sprung trap, Democrats will not pass this bill. This indicates that the bill was never in the best interest for the long run of the country, but rather another piece of legislation whose main purpose is the destruction of their political foes. The ugly truth is that our Representative is extremely adept in playing this game. It is Mr. Edwards' and his Party's behavior that constitutes a major loss to his constituents and to the nation.

The Revolution #4: A Modest Proposal: the Solution of Illegal Immigration and Foreign Terrorists Living in the United States

Note: This post was nominated for a Weasel Watcher Award during the week of May 23, 2007

In 1729, Jonathan Swift published the satirical pamphlet A Modest Proposal: For Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland from Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Publick. It was Swift’s proposal that Irish parents sell their children to be eaten to provide a family income.

“A young healthy child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout.”

Needless to say, the public did not see the humor in his modest proposal nor did they recognize Swift’s homage to the Roman tradition of satire that disparaged the solutions they actually supported. Swift lost nearly all the subscribers to his pamphlets. Today, this work stands as the greatest piece of satire ever written.

It is with true jacklope humility that I set down my own modest proposal. I hope you enjoy:

A Modest Proposal: the Solution of Illegal Immigration and Foreign Terrorists Living in the United States

Regarding the upcoming Illegal Immigration Bill, rejoice that Congress has at last streamlined the legislative process so much that the mere idea is passed into law without all that troublesome legal fine print ever being written. We already know we can’t possibly understand the yearly tax code, so why bother our stressed out brains with another piece of congressional mumbo jumbo? We can just jump to the obvious outcome: instant citizenship, a voter card in Spanish card with a preprinted “X” in the box next to “Democratic Party”, and a Pueblo, Colorado publication listing all the social services that come with citizenship.

And, by logical extension, the only natural conclusion to the immigration problem is for the United States to simply declare universal sovereignty over the entire globe, making all earthly inhabitants Americans. Think of the problems that would instantly be solved by expanding our borders to include every continent, island, peninsula, sandbar, and floating flotsam and jetsam! No more illegals dying in the brutal trek across the American southwest deserts, or sweltering in the back of 18-wheelers with no air, water, food, or bathroom facilities. Never again would we have to hear of such tragedies and risk having our free time and peace of mind disturbed.

Even if the new citizens stay in their current locations, now they wouldn’t have to work to change the governments they would otherwise desire to flee. The former nation of Mexico can cease in its almost-achievable quest to achieve a true two-party democracy. Hugo Chavez can offer symposiums for Democratic Congressmen on how to nationalize private business as he did Citgo Oil and how they aspire to do with our health care system. The reality of a fast track to making all citizens both wards and employees of the state would be created ipso facto. The Democratic Party is thinking small-time in its present goal of making only people residing within the current borders of the United States citizens. Imagine the possibilities for complete domination if the Democratic Party were able to make every single person on the planet their ward and vassal. Surely when they examine the absolute magnificence of this modest solution they will realize that this short proposal has barely begun to explore the possibilities.

The idea of annexing the entire world is so pregnant with opportunity that one could not even begin to list the benefits to the future power of the Democratic Party. Instantly the need to travel in order to receive the benefits of the United States becomes moot. Instead we can export government social workers and labor union members to provide all benefits accorded with citizenship. Like lawyers descending on the Bhopal tragedy, government agencies could be set up at the four corners of the world and incremental points in between to provide all benefits and necessities to new citizens at taxpayer expense. Furthermore, since we celebrate diversity already, no new citizen need suffer the burden of learning English (lest they assimilate into the bigoted and racist present American culture, developed as it was by dead white men). If this proposal were enacted, all people could continue to speak in their indigenous language and dialect. Because after all, that’s what being an American is all about: making America just like the place you fled.

So brilliant is this plan that Democratic Party leaders will be guaranteed voters and power for life, possibly even eternity. Their pursuit of wealth could then be expanded to include every tax-free offshore account or even the banks of the new state of Switzerland. All wealth will now be subject to the American tax code and every redistributionist PAC or 501(c) receiving federal funds. It is hard to believe that no one at the DNC has thought of this plan sooner. It appears there is not a political visionary in the entire party.

Even terrorists will receive incredible benefits by becoming American citizens. It goes without saying that now they will be able to kill Americans with greater ease, as they will not have to risk the sneaking and hiding, the plotting and scheming it currently takes to set up splinter cells bearing outdated visas over here. Why travel when just killing your own neighbor is a death of an American? Consider the double bonus when a terrorist's own child becomes a self-detonating bomb: an American child killing other Americans! Jews will be Americans, infidel Christians will all be Americans, Shi’ias will be Americans, Sunnis, Hamas, PLO, Chechen, all are Americans. Now they can really mean it when they drive a bomb-laden truck into a shopping mall with the cry, “Death to America!” The simplicity of absolute cultural nihilism borders on divine perfection.

Not to mention the benefit of outmaneuvering the United Nations, a bureaucracy that could be swiftly rendered null and void. Never again will we need to seek permission to establish democracies in terrorist states. Surely a nation that had no problem gassing and torching Branch Davidians would have no compunction about bombing itself, wherever and whenever needed. It’s good to have a frame of reference when it comes to the almighty state delivering justice swift and sure. Nothing keeps a citizenry in order better than them knowing their proper place in the power hierarchy.

The benefits of this modest proposal are so bold, so enlightened and radical, that to not put it into action immediately could blight humanity forever. Let us cease striving after such clearly unworkable legislation as building a border fence and increasing a well trained and equipped border guard. There is no sense wasting taxpayer money on high-tech satellite equipment, unmanned drones, and expensive gadgetry like night-vision goggles and infrared cameras. We all know it is impossible to track every person within the borders or defend ourselves indefinitely against a far more determined worldwide jihad. Why strive after mediocre stopgap half-measures when a self-evident solution exists? Why continue the suffering for one more second? Call your Congressman and Senators immediately and urge them to pass this simple proposal with all haste, and begin planning a family vacation to the new America—no visa, passport or papers required. Brilliant.